Transformation Tuesday: Mental

Today's transformation tuesday blog is about a mental aspect of transformation rather than physical. Yesterday I started a new routine as part of a program that I am following. I don't know how long it should have taken me to complete it, but I suspect that I took longer than it should have. Why? Well, because 1.) I was scared of a little red box and 2.) I didn't want to quit.
First I saw the red box and I thought to myself "HELL YEAH! I don't have to do these on a bench" I had been previously using a bench for step ups and now I had to do box jumps, which I thought I might also have to do on a bench. However,  I show up to the weight room and voila, there's a box there. Yes. As I prepare to do this jump, I start getting scared! Why? I've jumped before, many times. The thing was that the landing surface seemed so small to me! I kept thinking that I was going to land on the very edge and tip over or not land at all!
Listen, at this point a while back the old me would of said "eff this! I'm scared! Lets do the alternative move!" BUT NOT THIS TIME! I started repeating to myself "you can land it! and if you fall just get back up." So I finally did it. It was so incredibly relieving lol I'm not going to say it was easy, but I got it done. All 4 sets. It got easier each time. I felt like a bad ass!

I proceeded to do the rest of my workout like the bad ass who I felt like. Then….Tun! Tuddunn! Tun! Tun! I get to the single leg romanian deadlift with single arm row! I've done single leg romanian deadlift many times before so I thought it would be no big deal. It was a big deal. A big sloppy deal. I couldn't keep my balance for crap! I kept tipping over to the side and having to side step. I started to get mad at myself because I was having such a hard time. Again, the old me would have quit or done something easier. Instead, I dropped all the weight and I practiced it without weight. Then, I added two dumbbells for equal balance and rowed both of them. Finally, when I felt like I had it down, I did it as instructed in the book with a single dumbbell (heavier than the two previously). It wasn't "easy" duh, but I could do it. I figured out that I had to stay focused on a single object and keep my focus fixed on it as I hinged from the hip up and down and as I rowed up and back down.

I know that its little achievements here and there that are what keep me going. Little by little it all comes together. The word "can't" is slowly making it's way out of my self talk vocabulary. Everytime I am about to say "I can't" I catch myself and I rephrase that to "I will". On the contrary if I don't' want to do something I say, "I won't" or "I don't want to", but "I can't" is a lie. I can do anything I set my mind to.